Competition is getting so intense lately that one out of four persons I know are upgrading themselves in certain ways, be it part-time courses or professional courses. Whenever I tell people what course I am taking, nine out of ten will exclaim, "What relevance is it to your career?"

Why must I take something related to my career and not my interest? I already spend almost all my waking hours building up my career, so I rather use the remaining time to do something I like. And if I am to pay so much and spend so much time, I much rather do something I want to do, rather than something which I have to do.

So for those seeking higher education, ask yourself, are you doing something you want to do or like to do? It would be good to have both - something that you like and yet can help your career or life at the same time. But in most cases, people rather do something that can help their career, but as a result, maybe they get stuck in their jobs and not able to change.

Nevertheless, a higher education will always be useful somewhat. It all depends on the opportunity one is given in life.

History is a subject that has always fascinated me. In fact, my favourite subjects are more Humanities based, like Literature, Geography, History, Philosophy, Psychology, Politics, Anthropology. Ask me about any of these and I will get into an animated discussion, with whatever I know (not that I know that much). On the other hand, ask me about organic chemistry or sound waves and I will gag.

Which is why I am an oddball, because I am interested in things people will never dream of being interested in. Most prefer economics (most practical) and finance. Nobody will take notice of events that happened 10,000 years ago and how those events affected us today, nor will anyone think of trying to trace their ancestors to see how pure or mixed blood they are.

Anyway, after watching "Red Cliff", I discovered that my knowledge is not all useless, as what many people said. I was able to get into an intense discussion with my friend over the actual and past events that happened during that period of time, and how those events affected the future. Just imagine, if those characters never existed, then perhaps the Chinese history would be very different now, and one could only shudder to imagine what things are like now.

Which is why even when I was taking law, I was fascinated by the history of the English law part. Ironically, History was my least favourite subject in Secondary One and Two. Perhaps because we were doing the same old boring Singapore history, which, face it, is not as exciting and interesting as the other history of the world. I only became fascinated with history when I started reading autobiographies.

So when I entered NIE/NTU, I chose History as one of my majors. Everyone thought I was crazy, my own parents included. Most people chose English Language, plus another subject, but I chose English Literature and History. Most chose English Language and Geography, because these two subjects were quite light in terms of workload. For instance, for Geography, it was just two assignments and an examination, with not much reading.

In fact, when I heard my friends talking about their first assignment, I even knew how to answer! It was on rock forms, and there were like three kinds of rocks - igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic. Just need to elaborate on these three and that was it. Easy right? So when I had to read tons of texts, pages after pages of drafts and lots of editing just to get enough information on my first history assignment of how Singapore evolved into the modern society nowadays, I was cursing myself for not going with the flow.

But I still managed to go by. Even though my peers could go out for big meals and watch movies in the middle of the day while I had to cram loads of information in the library whereas they were enjoying themselves, at the end of it all it was all worth it. The knowledge gained and things I picked up were immeasurable. And that is the essence of studying - not just taking the easy subjects, but the actual process of learning, digesting and finding out information. Grades are easy to score if you know the right way, but hands-on research will give you knowledge beyond what we actually study from just mere books.

My examination results are out! And I passed. Whew! After so many years out of school, it was a wonder I could still manage to study and retain information, and I mean, voluminous information, not the simple multiple choice kind of quizzes where one can guess the answer even without studying.

Because of that, I get exempted from certain modules, so I can have a break for this semester at least before starting all over again next year! Half a year to relax and do what I like to do... hmmm... first thing first, catch up on all the books I have been meaning to read but have never started!

I am getting too old to keep mugging away like this. I thought of just taking study leave on the two days of my examination, but my schedule has fallen behind, so I have to take an extra day. No wonder I have been told to study as much as I can while still young, because once I start working and getting on in my years, I will not have the time or energy to study anymore.

It is my own fault. I chose to take life easier when young and now I am paying the price. My mum is right after all. Should struggle more when young, then can lead an easier and more relaxed life in my later years. As it is, now that I am this age, I have not achieved a lot of things I want to achieve as yet.

So last night I set out the goal for the next ten years. The goals include all aspects of my life - work, studies, music, family, companionship, religion, driving. Hopefully, ten years later, I can look back and feel happy and satisfied that I have achieved some, if not allm goals, instead of wasting another ten years!

I think I am getting old. Or perhaps just a tad too restless. I always must be different, which accounts for a lot of things in my life. Just like right now, I could have chosen to further a law degree, or take up a Business or Accounting course, or even a course by the Institute of Chartered Secretaries, yet I chose to do a higher degree in English Language and Literature.

Now, I only have myself to blame for the intensive heavy reading, research, analysing, writing and discourse I have to do, with one assignment after another. Worse is I am taking two major modules and one minor module this semester, so the workload is really heavy-going.

Oh, I love reading, as can be ascertained by those who have attended schools with me. I remember how a certain Ms Bong and I were always the most avid readers in class, where we could borrow so many books from the school library within a week. But reading for leisure and reading for academic purposes is SO NOT THE SAME!

Even though my textbooks consist of stories I love, like Austen, Dickens, et al, but I much prefer reading them at my own pace, own time. Reading for assignment and examination purposes somehow have the stress attached to it, and I enjoy the books and stories less.

How did I ever survive my NTU/NIE days? Those days seem so long ago, so far gone. I could stay up endless nights trying to finish assignments on time. In those days, I could stay up later and wake up earlier and still feel refreshed. Now, I feel like a lethargic, tired, over-the-hill senior citizen. And it probably does not help that I am a full-time employee and a part-time student, instead of a full-time student.

But that's life. One just have to take the good and the bad, in things you want to do, and goals you want to achieve. Nothing can be achieved if we don't toil for it.