On Saturday Mr D'Cruz and I went to Crocs warehouse somewhere around Changi Industrial Park to participate in a shoe project under Habitat for Humanity. We have to sort out used (and new) Crocs by matching them with the exact size, design and colour, stringing them, cleaning, as well as sorting out the "lone rangers".

It was a pretty fruitful day being involved with all those Crocs. There were even non-Crocs and other brands of shoes. All the shoes that could not be matched were put aside, and sorted according to colour and design. The organiser told us that if we could find one of the same design and colour for both feet, with just a bit of a size difference, would also be matched up.

Next step was to match by designs. So if we found a shoe that was blue, and another shoe for the other foot that was red of the same size, all we needed to do was to exchange the straps so they too became a pair. Pretty innovative! Seeing all those shoes without a match and how the shoes were matched, somehow I had an epiphany :

1. Not everything has a perfect match.
2. At times, when you were searching hard for a match, the perfect match could be just in front of you.
3. Some are lucky to be matched from the beginning, others take a while longer.
4. Sometimes it needs some tweaking and mixing before a pair can be matched.
5. If there is no perfect match, the next best is one that is most similar.
6. Some remain single until the end.

Amazing what one learns just from sorting out shoes! This shows that anything can be a lesson, no matter how trivial. I am glad I went for that activity, got to help others and learn about life at the same time!

The King of Pop has kicked the bucket. I cannot profess I am that much a fan of his, although I do like quite a number of his songs. Still, his death came as a shock to the world, although from his lifestyle, perhaps it would happen sooner or later. Okay, I am not here to judge since someone has died, and with death, all things should be forgiven (at least I hope so!).

However, there is but a fine thin line between life and death. Christians believe that God created us, God gave us our lives, so when the time comes, God would take us back. We meet our Creator upon death. Whether we go to heaven or hell depends on how we lead our lives. Even for those who are not Christians or who have no religion whatsoever, it is still good to do as much good as you can and live our lives to the fullest.

Some people want to make as much money as they can in this lifetime. True, financial security is good. Materialism is good to a certain extent, but at the end, whatever riches and wealth we have accumulated cannot be taken with us upon death. With our busy lives, we often neglect the basic core of our existence - health, love and happiness. We often procrastinate until it is too late.

Imagine if one is on the dying bed, and flashes of his life go running through his head. He may wonder what he had done in this lifetime. He may be a millionaire, lived to be a centenarian, but there is no family or friends at his side. Then he wonders where can he leave his massive fortune to, who had he shared his happiness and sadness with all his life.

So it is up to each of us to make a difference. Do you want to live a long but lonely and desolate life, or do you want to live a short, yet enriching and fulfilling life? I think each of us has our own answers. :-)

Music is the physical attraction, the sex. Lyrics is the background, the story behind.

Thus, music, without lyrics, cannot function on its own. After the music, comes the lyrics. Lyrics, without the music, does not work well as well. The perfect music and lyrics combination is the most beautiful of all.

Hence, many people are still searching for the perfect music and lyrics combination to make things right!

Does it mean if you follow all ten ways religiously, you will never fall sick again? :-p

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge, and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program notrun on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart.Is this normal?

Tech Support:  Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So LOVE is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. LOVE is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.

How true it is!

Somerset Maugham says :

"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."

How true it is! If you think you are satisfied with just anything mediocre, chances are that is what you will get! So it is one's choice whether they want the best or anything less!

1. Cut down on unnecessary spending.

2. Get my driving license once and for all.

3. Slim down even more.

4. Find a mate.

Deadline : End of the year

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two step-brothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended the funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still know him pass this on, if not join the majority and do nothing.

I came across this article that talks about the ten dating mistakes which can turn off men. Actually what turns men off are also what turns women off. In general, these are a few pointers which I think as a woman, will get turned off if the guy behaved in this way on a first date!

1. Talking too much about “Me, me me”.

We are not interested in how much the man spent on his newest car or gadget. Just like we are also not interested in how much you are earning, or how many credit cards you have, how “rich” and “eligible” you are. So please, spare us from going on and on about how often you change your car, how much money you have and how good a life you have. Or how much more interesting your job is as compared to ours. The last thing we need is a show-off!

2. Making Comparisons.

Please do not tell us the kind of ideal girl you have in mind to marry, or how many girls let you down, or how “high and mighty” and “materialistic” local girls are as compared to foreigners. It is only the first date, for goodness sake! And if you keep comparing, then why on earth are you out meeting us instead of the “beautiful and voluptuous foreign women” you adore so much?

3. Being a picky eater.

A woman does not like the man picking on his food all the time. Worst is a guy who was only concerned with eating instead of making conversation, yet at the same time he kept criticizing the food, but still kept eating anyway. Are you there for the food or to really get to know someone?

4. Being late.

If it is fifteen minutes due to traffic conditions or work, that is fine. If you called before hand and said you are going to be late due to emergencies, that is fine. But if you just turn up late without any explanation or apologies, then that is quite impolite.

5. Too much emotional baggage.

This ties in with Point 2 above. When out with a new girl, especially one whom you are rather interested in, never compare her to what your ex was like before, or how good a time your ex had with you. Think about it - is the guy really thinking of knowing a new person, or just grabbing anyone and moulding her into his ideal kind of person like how his ex was?

6. “I’m Too Good For You”.

Never ever tell a girl she is not pretty enough, that she should dress up more, or carry herself with more grace, especially not on a first date!  We cannot change our looks, so unless you yourself have the face of Narcissist and the body of Hercules, then do not scrutinize and look us up and down! Chances are, we do take pains to dress up for the date, so cut us some slack even if we are not your ideal definition of “beauty”!

7. Always On The Phone.

This is also a big turn-off. Turn your phone silent or just ignore your calls! Yes, we do understand there may be work emergencies, then at least asked to be excused for a while and step away to answer the phone, rather than talking on the phone while facing us!

8. Coming On Too Strong.

If a girl agrees to go out with you for a meal and drinks, that does not mean she automatically wants to be in a relationship with you, and definitely not because she agrees to hold your hand or kiss you or wants to sleep with you! So please do not ask sexual questions or whether we indulge in one-night-stands when we just met up for the first time! Also, do not call us or send us messages so many times a day and bomb us if we do not respond!

9. Being too “touchy feely”.

As mentioned in Point 8 above, just because a girl agrees to go out with a guy does not mean she agrees to be pawed all over by him. Please do show some respect for us. We may be the female species, we may be beuatiful, but still, we are not sexual objects to be displayed or touched whenever you fancy.

10. Not Being Yourself.

Just like how men can tell a “fake” right away, women can too. It is one thing trying to please, but it is another thing doing something you do not like and feeling too uncomfortable doing that! We rather you be yourselves. Do not need to put up a false front just to impress! Doing that will only show how low self-esteem you have, and that itself is a big turn off!

Thanks to Adrian, I came across a really profound and thought-provoking article on philosophy. All along, I have been a huge fan of philosophy. I like to ask thoughtful questions, insightful questions on our existence and why our hormones go raging the way they do.

But this article really throws everything out of place. The guy kind of inferred from the article that we should not take his word for things because we are already no longer the same person as we were by the time we started reading the article. Most of our brain cells have a lifespan of seven years. Maybe that is the reason why I am “degenerating”, why my perceptions have changed since a year back or so. And maybe, in another seven years, I will become an alien.

Maybe that is the reason why there is the “seven-year itch”. One day you may just wake up and wonder why in the world you married this person seven years ago. :-p Maybe your old brain cells thought it would be the best thing in the world at that point in time, but seven years later, your new set of brain cells tell you otherwise.

So if my brain gets swopped with a dirty old man, will I then start salivating at every girl on the street, sitting with my legs open wide, and massaging my crotch in public? That is the worst punishment for me! What have I done to deserve such treatment? But being able to swop brains with me will probably be the worst punishment for him! :-p

Is there really a computer screen in front of me? Why am I writing in a journal? Is it because I had been told it is a computer screen, and this thing I am writing in is called a journal? Who came up with all these names anyway? Why not call the computer screen a table, and a journal a channel? Why is a spade called a spade, and a rose a rose?

Is it ethical to swerve a train to kill an innocent person, saving several others in the process, or is it ethical to kill a healthy living person just to get his good insides to help those who really need them? Between life and death, what is or is not ethical? Is euthanasia ethical?

It all boils down to the big question – why did we exist? Because of Darwin’s theory of evolution, that we evolved from apes, and likely to evolve from kangaroos since it is now found we share the same genes? In that case, why are apes and kangaroos not evolving now?

Why do we need air, water, food and shelter to survive? We have always been told since young that living things need air, water, food and shelter. But why can we not just live in the wild and run around like that? Why do we need to wear clothes? Why is it an outrage of modesty if someone goes around stark naked or touch anyone's privates in public? Why not just go around nude and natural?

Because it had been inculcated in us since we were born that certain things can be done and certain things cannot be done. Is there really any right or wrong? Does the universe say anything about right or wrong? Or is it what humans, by the time their intelligence level started surpassing the other living things, came up with their own rules of right and wrong? Does everything boil down to a science, or is it just another unanswered question by Mother Nature?

1. Love is for survival and self-fulfilment.

2. Love is not attraction, chemistry, sexual desire and infatuation. Love only occurs when we are past these stages.

3. Women need to talk to communication and connect. Men need to connect before communicating.

4. Men just need to lend a listening ear without giving solutions.

5. Men may be distant at times, but that does not mean they care for their women less.

6. Women appreciate a note from their men no matter how busy they are.

7. A relationship will work well only if men and women recognise and understand their differences.

8. Soulmates are not to be found instantly but through time.

9. Having chemistry does not equate to having compatibility.

10. To love is to commit. Commitment requires responsibility and fosters maturity.

11. Loving a person means his / her happiness means everything to you.

12. Mature love is unspoken and shown through actions.

13. Love is being there for each other through difficult times.

14. To love is to forgive. But do not forgive someone who betrays your trust twice.

15. People in committed relationships are happier and more successful.

16. Happiness comes from self, not others. Love yourself before you can love and give happiness to others.

Imagine this scenario : A is very intelligent, he gets things very quickly, and he knows the right things to do at the right time. However, he is bossy, offensive, selfish and he goes around backstabbing and telling tales, all to ensure his own success. He does not do anything unless it is directly beneficial to himself.

B, on the other hand, is not that intelligent. He is always at the butt of A’s jokes, always being put down for being slow. However, he has a warm and caring heart, never hesitating to help someone in need. He genuinely helps others without expecting anything back.

As a result, people like B more than A. Who do you think will be likely to succeed? Is it A, who is always efficient, or B, who is not so efficient but hard-working and likeable? Perhaps many of you will think it is A, but actually the one who may succeed in the end is B, because he has a higher EQ than A.

Thus, in order to succeed in the workplace, having a high IQ is not enough. Face it, how many graduates are there out there now? Just throw a stone and you can hit someone who is a graduate, or a post-graduate even. So all things equal, someone with a higher EQ will be the one that stands out.

Sad to say, not many people realize this. They think as long as they achieve their best in their jobs, they do not need to care about anything else as they will be the ones being recognized. One can be recognized for work, but work is work. The one that is recognized is normally the one who has a sincere heart and who remains professional.

So in order to be successful, one must have both high levels of IQ and EQ. Throw in a high level of FQ and one will be all set!

Banks are blood-suckers indeed! First, they keep giving you umbrellas when you least need them, then when it is pouring, they take away all the umbrellas and leave you to drench. Then, when you have exhausted all means and try to get some help, they turn a blind eye to your plight.

Not only that, when you want your money to grow so put it in the bank to save, the interest rate is so pathetic! Your money does not grow, and it is not much of a difference whether you put it in or not.

Yet when you need money from them, the interest rate is so high, almost a quarter of the principal sum! Yes, they want to make a profit, but have they considered we also want to make a profit? Why do we end up paying more what we borrowed than what we actually have on account?

Recently I made a loss via investments. It was a bad decision I made, and if not for the fact that I have some assets in financial plans, I would have lost much more. Luckily this period of time, I went to see my Financial Planner who gave me a detailed report on how my cash flow input and output should be. After reading the report, I truly understand my entire financial situation. So the first step is to get out of debt by paying off whatever I have lost, then start building up a nest egg, and finally, bring my liquidity to a healthy level! It is time to start planning for retirement!

History is a subject that has always fascinated me. In fact, my favourite subjects are more Humanities based, like Literature, Geography, History, Philosophy, Psychology, Politics, Anthropology. Ask me about any of these and I will get into an animated discussion, with whatever I know (not that I know that much). On the other hand, ask me about organic chemistry or sound waves and I will gag.

Which is why I am an oddball, because I am interested in things people will never dream of being interested in. Most prefer economics (most practical) and finance. Nobody will take notice of events that happened 10,000 years ago and how those events affected us today, nor will anyone think of trying to trace their ancestors to see how pure or mixed blood they are.

Anyway, after watching "Red Cliff", I discovered that my knowledge is not all useless, as what many people said. I was able to get into an intense discussion with my friend over the actual and past events that happened during that period of time, and how those events affected the future. Just imagine, if those characters never existed, then perhaps the Chinese history would be very different now, and one could only shudder to imagine what things are like now.

Which is why even when I was taking law, I was fascinated by the history of the English law part. Ironically, History was my least favourite subject in Secondary One and Two. Perhaps because we were doing the same old boring Singapore history, which, face it, is not as exciting and interesting as the other history of the world. I only became fascinated with history when I started reading autobiographies.

So when I entered NIE/NTU, I chose History as one of my majors. Everyone thought I was crazy, my own parents included. Most people chose English Language, plus another subject, but I chose English Literature and History. Most chose English Language and Geography, because these two subjects were quite light in terms of workload. For instance, for Geography, it was just two assignments and an examination, with not much reading.

In fact, when I heard my friends talking about their first assignment, I even knew how to answer! It was on rock forms, and there were like three kinds of rocks - igneous, sedimentary and metamorphic. Just need to elaborate on these three and that was it. Easy right? So when I had to read tons of texts, pages after pages of drafts and lots of editing just to get enough information on my first history assignment of how Singapore evolved into the modern society nowadays, I was cursing myself for not going with the flow.

But I still managed to go by. Even though my peers could go out for big meals and watch movies in the middle of the day while I had to cram loads of information in the library whereas they were enjoying themselves, at the end of it all it was all worth it. The knowledge gained and things I picked up were immeasurable. And that is the essence of studying - not just taking the easy subjects, but the actual process of learning, digesting and finding out information. Grades are easy to score if you know the right way, but hands-on research will give you knowledge beyond what we actually study from just mere books.

【和尚与屠夫】
从前有一个和尚跟一个屠夫是好朋友。和尚天天早上要起来念经，而屠夫天天要起来杀猪。 为了不耽误他们早上的工作，是他们约定早上互相叫对方起床。 多年以后，和尚与屠夫相继去世了。屠夫去上天堂了，而和尚却下地狱了。

Why?
因为屠夫天天作善事，叫和尚起来念经，相反地，和尚天天叫屠夫起来杀生……

小哲理：
你做的东西是不是都是你认为对的，却不一定是对的。
____________ _________ _________ _________ _

【一道终身受用的测试题】
你开着一辆车。
在一个暴风雨的晚上。
你经过一个车站。
有三个人正在焦急的等公共汽车。
一个是快要临死的老人，他需要马上去医院。
一个是医生，他曾救过你的命，你做梦都想报答他。
还有一个女人/男人，她/他是你做梦都想嫁/娶的人，也许错过就没有了。
但你的车只能在坐下一个人，你会如何选择？
我不知道这是不是一个对你性格的测试, 因为每一个回答都有他自己的原因。
老人快要死了，你首先应该先救他。
你也想让那个医生上车，因为他救过你，这是个好机会报答他。
还有就是你的梦中情人。错过了这个机会。你可能永远不能遇到一个让你这么心动的人了。

在200个应征者中，只有一个人被雇佣了，他并没有解释他的理由，他只是说了以下的话：

'给医生车钥匙，让他带着老人去医院，而我则留下来陪我的梦中情人一起等公车!'
每个人我认识的人都认为以上的回答是最好的，但没有一个人（包括我在内）一开始就想到。

小哲理：
是否是因为我们从未想过要放弃我们手中已经拥有的优势（车钥匙）? 有时，如果我们能放弃一些我们的固执，狭隘，和一些优势的话，我们可能会得到更多。
____________ _________ _________ _________ _

【皮鞋的来历】

很久很久以前，人类都还赤着双脚走路。

有一位国王到某个偏远的乡间旅行，因为路面崎岖不平，有很多碎石头，刺得他的脚又痛又麻。回到王宫后，他下了一道命令，要将国内的所有道路都铺上一层牛皮。他认为这样做，不只是为自己，还可造福他的人民，让大家走路时不再受刺痛之苦。

但即使杀尽国内所有的牛，也筹措不到足够的皮革，而所花费的金钱、动用的人力，更不知凡几。虽然根本做不到，甚至还相当愚蠢，但因为是国王的命令，大家也只能摇头叹息。

一位聪明的仆人大胆向国王提出建言：「国王啊！为什么您要劳师动众，牺牲那么多头牛，花费那么多金钱呢？您何不只用两小片牛皮包住您的脚呢？」国王听了很惊讶，但也当下领悟，于是立刻收回成命，改采这个建议。据说，这就是「皮鞋」的由来。

小哲理：
想改变世界，很难；要改变自己，则较为容易。
与其改变全世界，不如先改变自己--「将自己的双脚包起来」。
改变自己的某些观念和作法，以抵御外来的侵袭。
当自己改变后，眼中的世界自然也就跟着改变了。
如果你希望看到世界改变，那么第一个必须改变的就是自己。

「心若改变，态度就会改变；态度改变，习惯就改变；习惯改变，人生就会改变。

Choosing a life partner is like a job. One has to screen through all potential aspects, then consider carefully and pick the best and most suitable one. However, unlike a job, a life partner cannot be changed so easily. One cannot just quit midway and go for better pastures. Which is why in a job, after years of being stuck with the same thing, one can look forward to better prospects, but once one chooses a life partner, that is it.

Which is why we have to choose the best there is. The best for us, not the best of the best, or the most perfect one. Each of us knows who we can click with and who we cannot, we know the kind of person we are most suitable for and vice versa. So we owe it to our future family to be with someone who is the best and most suitable, instead of settling with just anyone else.

I think I am the last person to give advice on relationship issues, considering my history. Still, I find it heartwarming when I see how Kelvin celebrated Lynn's birthday with his parents. After a few failures, she deserves a truly good man who really loves her and willing to take care of her.

And that is what women want. Just a reliable, responsible and committed man who treats her right and diplomatically. Someone who is able to blend in with her family and treats them well. A woman's true happiness lies not in finding someone, but by finding a right man who is like that.

Which reminded me of one article I came across earlier on, about falling in love and having a relationship. Falling in love is different from actually having a relationship, because falling in love can be very sudden. One can show attraction and liking for someone, and want to be with the person, but then one can easily fall out of love with the person. A person in love may just look at things from a superficial angle, and when problems occur and see things beyond the beautiful facade, they may start to fall out of love.

Whereas being in a relationship means knowing someone, determining whether the person is compatible and good enough, and actually wanting to be with the person despite each other's faults, quirks and peculiarities. It is being committed through ups and downs, through difficulties and rough patches, through each other's moods and emotions, and not just when both are happy.

It is easy to fall in love, but hard to sustain a relationship, because in order to be in a lifelong relationship like marriage, it takes more than just love. Love is not to be taken so lightly, because it has to be "made" day in, day out. It is not selfish and just focus on one person, but another person's happiness, having the best interest of the other person.

Which is why if you truly love a person, his / her happiness is what matters. A relationship and marriage only works if both are committed to give to each other their best and utmost dedication, and not if both are self-centred.