A book by love coach Kloudiia, on the things one needs to do in order to sustain a relationship. I guess for most of us, we did not grow up with a concept of how to handle a love relationship. It was much easier in our grandparents' time, or even our parents' time, when they were match-made and they lived their lives just like that.

For us, being the more educated and modernised generation, we expect more out of life. No longer is love and relationships that important. We do not be with someone so easily just like that. We want someone who is the right fit, someone special we can spend our lives with. Hence we get more and more picky and self-centred, expecting the other party to always cater to us, and when things do not go well, we blamed on others and not ourselves.

However, I guess deep down, everyone wants a companion. No matter what, I believe in general, no one wants to spend the rest of their lives being lonely if they have a choice. When we are young, we have our jobs and friends to have fun with. But when our friends all start getting married, and we reach retirement age, what is going to happen if we do not have a companion? Then we may need to live the remaining twenty or thirty years in loneliness.

Thus I believe most of us are out looking for someone. But after the initial period of attraction, what then? Do we live the way we have always lived when we are still single? Of course not. Once we make the decision to be with someone, we have to ensure we are half of a couple, and not on our own anymore. Which means we have to make compromises, accommodate and tolerate each other's quirks and shortcomings.

This is where some people have problems with. Some I know never like to tolerate, they think as long as the person has shortcomings, it means the person is not perfect for them. Hence they nip a budding relationship in the bud before it blossoms, when in fact, the person may be just the right one. But who in this world is perfect? Are we ourselves perfect too? Being in a relationship is not so easy as just entering one and that's it. It needs work to maintain it. It needs adjustments to each other's characters, flaws and lifestyles. It is no longer self-focused. It needs two hands to clap.

And that is where Kloudiia's book The 69 Love Notes comes in. In it, she writes about how to have a loving and lasting relationship, using sixty-nine secrets to spice up your love life. Relationships are never easy, but with her tips, coupled with the correct way of communication and mindset, anyone can have a loving and lasting relationship full of happiness and bliss.

Her book has reaffirmed a lot of what I know and have gone through. And I am sure going to continue practising what she says in order to make my relationship last!

Some friends have decided to have a cycling session in order to get some exercise. For someone who does not really cycle, it was great getting myself out of my house to do some exercise. Two weekends ago, we cycled almost half of East Coast, from the McDonalds to Bedok Jetty to the coastal point, then back. Followed by brunch at the East Coast Lagoon hawker centre.

Last Saturday, we decided to be more ambitious after a proposition by Warren - to cycle from East Coast all the way to Changi Village! Of course logistically speaking, it needs some planning, but overall it was not a hard feat. We rented bicycles from PCN at East Coast, then cycled all the way. It is essentially a pretty straight path, just have to stay on the PCN markings.

So we cycled past Bedok Jetty, past the Golf Course, past SAFRA Clubhouse, and stopped to take a break when we reached the coastal point. Now that is a beautiful place. Clear waters, nice smooth sand, quiet area, pretty scenic for Singapore. Strands of lallang are growing at the other side of the path. The only thing affecting this unspoiled area is the scattering of litter all around, otherwise it is a very beautiful place indeed!

After ten minutes, we continued on our journey. The path is straight all the way. We cycled the entire stretch next to the airplane landing strip and could see the planes landing and taking off. Then further straight until we reached Changi Beach. The path then started to wind that stretch of Changi Beach, until we went past the Ferry Terminal to Tekong, and finally reached PCN at Changi Village, where we returned the bikes.

By the time I got off the bike, my bum and legs were numb, sore and hurting! Luckily that stretch of beach happened to be just behind the Changi Village hawker centre, so we walked there to have nasi lemak for brunch. It was quite a feat, but we succeeded! We cycled aboubt 20km in all! Next goal is to do 20 - 40km in order to make it for the OCBC Cycle Challenge in March! This time I have to do it on my own!

A bit early this wishlist is, since a wishlist or goals, is normally set at the beginning of every year, or end of every year to carry on to the next year. But now that I'm another year older and looking back on all those decades of my life where nothing much has really been achieved, it is better to be early to set out what I intend to do once and for all before I start procrastinating again!

1. Pursue further studies. About time I do that, considering most people my age or younger already have pretty high qualifications and having greater prospects in work and life.

2. Read two books a month. I have bought new books, as well as needing to refresh the old books I have. I really do need to start reading voraciously again, something I have stopped doing for the past ten years or so.

3. Keep fit. In other words, start losing weight. I aim to go down at least five kilograms and get back the shape I used to be back in secondary school. Which means more workouts, more exercise, and perhaps more slimming sessions, and cutting down on my favourite snacks. :-(

4. Get a manual license. Another long overdue one. Sometimes it kind of gets me down that I am not able to drive people around.

5. Restructure my life. In other words, start doing up a better financial plan and save up more for the future.

6. Publish some works. Perhaps it is time to start digging out all the creative writing I have done throughout my school days, editing and amending them, and then send the manuscripts to publishers and see if I can succeed in that. If my work gets published, it will be a dream come true, beyond my wildest thoughts!

7. Cook or bake a different dish every day (or the days when I can reach home early). Be like Julie Powell and experiment with 524 recipes in 365 days! See if I can turn this hobby into prosperity!

And the deadline? One to five years! I will check back this time next year and see how far I have progressed!

Mel's wedding last Saturday included a segment on the pouring of the Unity Sand. The sand is separated into white and pink, put in different bottles. First, the groom poured his white sand. Then the bride poured her pink sand. Then they took turns pouring their sand.

The pouring of the Unity Sand symbolises their single lives. The groom poured, then the bride poured - depicting their lives as singles. The taking turns to pour the sand, with the layers of sand in the jar, white layer, pink layer, white layer, pink layer, represents their single lives being interspersed with each other.

Around the last part, they poured the sand together, the white and pink being fused together, representing their lives as joint in one, no longer single. How beautiful... and meaningful!

Marriage, at the end, is an intersperse of two people, who is willing to make the commitment to be joined in one, for the rest of their lives. It takes a lot of work not to break that commitment!

The elements of a relationship are as follows :

Realistic - Have realistic expectations. If you choose to be with someone, then accept what he can offer. If you cannot accept it, then do not be in one in the first place.

Engaging - Have engaging conversations, being able to communicate and say whatever you want without any reservations.

Love - Without love and commitment, a relationship cannot even materialise.

Adoration - Adore and admire each other to keep the spark glowing.

Tolerance - Accepting each other wholeheartedly, tolerating faults and shortcomings and shutting the eyes to things which you may otherwise feel irritated about but still bear with because those are what makes him him, and makes her her.

Indulgence - Indulging in each other's whims, fancies and interests.

Obligation - Spend time and effort to maintain the relationship and developing the love.

Nurturing - Nurture each other to be the best each can be, and never hold each other back with selfish means.

Sincerity - Being sincere to each other, family and friends.

Homogeneity - Having certain essential similarities, like outlook, goals, compatibility, for things to flow smoothly.

Interconnection - The connection between two people, knowing what each other is thinking without needing to say a word, knowing what each other wants, thoughts and feelings and mutual understanding without saying much.

Patience - A relationship needs lots of patience and lots of work for it to bear fruit and blossom. In other words, a relationship is not instantaneous.

Wishing all those who are in relationships be happy, fulfilled and be reminded of how much they mean to each other! :-)

World Habitat Day is on the first Monday of October. There are many countries in the world whose citizens live in poor conditions. Due to the high cost of living in some areas, the poor and needy end up living in slums and squatters, making these places overcrowded. As a result, many people are homeless.

Hence this year’s World Habitat Day on 5 October will be on “Planning Our Urban Future”. So how can we do to help?

1. Advocate – Submit a photo of yourself holding a sign that says “It all starts from home”.

2. Educate – Spread the word!

3. Donate – Help support and make the world a better place!

For more information, please refer to World Habitat Day news for the full range of photos, how you can help and videos.

Please help out the poor and needy and spread the word to reach out to more people!

I attempted a book-a-thon during the weekend, only to find out that my reading speed has decreased drastically. I used to be able to devour three books per day, but on Sunday, I could not even finish one book. Maybe it is a sign of old age. I find the older I get, the less energy I have for all the things I want to do.

Nevertheless I came up with a booklist on the books I want to read. Or rather, re-read. None of the newer books capture my interest, so in order to take stock of what I have, I have come up with a re-read list, arranged according to authors :

1. Dan Brown (I'm collecting "The Lost Symbol" today!)
2. Jodi Picoult (her books never fail to make me tear)
3. Nicholas Sparks (his books also never fail to make me tear)
4. John Grisham (courtroom suspense, what more can I say?)
5. Agatha Christie (she's not known as the Queen of Crime for nothing!)
6. Neil Gaiman (stories that are out of the line)
7. Margaret George (historical biographies infused with fiction at its best)
8. Philippa Gregory (another good historical biographer infused with fiction)

And the list goes on and on and on, including Kahled Hosseini, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Paulo Coelho, etc, etc, etc. Now let me see if I can finish my Hundred Years of Solitude by end of the year!

You know how people always say their prayers never get answered so they stop believing? Sometimes I wonder if I will take my religion for granted if I had been a cradle Catholic instead of a convert. Even then my path to “enlightenment” has been relatively easier than others. Sure, I had the normal disputes with my parents when it came to religion, I had a hard time convincing them why I had to go to church when I was younger, but still, there was no melodrama.

Which makes me wonder have I taken things for granted? I have been griping about unanswered prayers, wondering why my life is worse than some others who have no religion but still leading much better lives. I even backslided for a while as I simply felt it was no use going to church and going through the motions if nothing is going to happen.

But upon thinking back, I haven’t had it that bad. Even though I was not born in a Christian family, I had been blessed since young. I have great parents who will always be the first ones to help me out of a jam. Sure, we have had our disagreements especially to upbringing and disciplinary methods, our arguments, our fights, our quarrels, our problems in communication, but my parents have never let me down, despite the times I let them down.

I have a wonderful brother who is always there for me, even though I have never been a good sister, or an exemplary example of an older sibling. Definitely I am not the older sister which younger siblings look up to, yet he is still magnanimous enough to be nice to me.

I have great cousins who are also always willing to lend me a listening ear and help me out of problems, giving me their two cents’ worth and whipping me into shape when needed. Despite me taking things for granted, they will still always be there for me. Sometimes I feel I have not been good enough to them.

I have great friends who are also always ready to help me out when needed, some who have been there through the more pertinent moments of my life. At times I do wonder, have I been a good enough friend? Have I shown the same amount of care and concern to them as they have to me?

So even though I do not realize it, God has been there for me in His own way. He gave me wonderful people in my life so my life will not be that bad. He let me go through certain issues in life so I will emerge stronger. He let me learn from experiences so my life will be more enriched. And He has never lost faith in me, despite the many times when I have turned away, when I have lost faith, when I have hurled abuse at Him for my life being screwed up.

Yet His grace is bountiful. At times during my most desperate moments, when I thought all had abandoned me, when I thought nothing short of a miracle could help me, He showed me what it means to have faith. He showed me His light and His goodness, and lifted me up from my desolate state, letting me know it is not as destitute as I thought.

God has been good to me, even though He may not ask for anything back. People around me have also been good to me, despite the way I am. I should stop being ungrateful and taking things for granted and be more involved in His work, as well as showing more fidelity to the people around me. I will be a better person, and I strive to be one too!

For some reason I have not had much inspiration lately. Nevertheless, it had been a busy month so far. I am so looking forward to an international reunion with people I love this coming weekend! Not to mention a dear friend who came from KL and bunked in with me the past couple of days.

We had a lovely time exploring a few clubs on Ladies Night, eating, wandering around and chatting. It is always good to have guests over because it makes the place livelier. I only hope my room isn't too hot or uncomfortable! I'm starting to miss her and hope she comes over again soon, or if I have the chance to go up to see her!

To the boy who has become a man :

Soon you will finish up your last years as a child / teenager and embark on adulthood. There are many challenges you will face in your life, struggling with the first day of work, angst of love and relationships, complications of human relations, politics, financial, professional woes and whatnot.

But through it all, I believe you will be able to survive through, and emerge a stronger person. Adulthood brings lots of problems and challenges, but it is also fun and something to look forward to.

Happy 21st birthday, my boy! Here's to many more adult years ahead! :-)

On Saturday Mr D'Cruz and I went to Crocs warehouse somewhere around Changi Industrial Park to participate in a shoe project under Habitat for Humanity. We have to sort out used (and new) Crocs by matching them with the exact size, design and colour, stringing them, cleaning, as well as sorting out the "lone rangers".

It was a pretty fruitful day being involved with all those Crocs. There were even non-Crocs and other brands of shoes. All the shoes that could not be matched were put aside, and sorted according to colour and design. The organiser told us that if we could find one of the same design and colour for both feet, with just a bit of a size difference, would also be matched up.

Next step was to match by designs. So if we found a shoe that was blue, and another shoe for the other foot that was red of the same size, all we needed to do was to exchange the straps so they too became a pair. Pretty innovative! Seeing all those shoes without a match and how the shoes were matched, somehow I had an epiphany :

1. Not everything has a perfect match.
2. At times, when you were searching hard for a match, the perfect match could be just in front of you.
3. Some are lucky to be matched from the beginning, others take a while longer.
4. Sometimes it needs some tweaking and mixing before a pair can be matched.
5. If there is no perfect match, the next best is one that is most similar.
6. Some remain single until the end.

Amazing what one learns just from sorting out shoes! This shows that anything can be a lesson, no matter how trivial. I am glad I went for that activity, got to help others and learn about life at the same time!

Recently, I was told the reason we need to pen down our thoughts and feelings is just so that in going through them, we can keep an objective mind and self-reflect. Since young, I love writing. My parents got me reading at a very young age, before I even started school. Then when I started doing compositions in schools, somehow my imagination started running wild and I wrote about things which, to my teachers, were highly inappropriate to be part of the school curriculum.

I must say I have been lucky to have good English teachers, who emphasised on the correct grammar, did activities to enrich our vocabularies, ensured we have perfect spelling, and gave us time and encouragement to read as widely as possible. I remember in primary school, there would always be silent reading before assembly. Anyone caught without a book or talking would have the names written down and punished.

In secondary school, there would always be a library period once a week. English Literature is compulsory in my school all the way until the 'O' levels, at least every class and every student was taking English Literature, even for those in the science classes. We read books which I would otherwise never be exposed to.

Then comes tertiary education. I remember a certain law lecturer who told me I was the "perfect" student she would like because I love to read and write. Well.... I beg to differ because reading law reports is simply NOT the same as reading novels and essays! Then I went into the education sector after signing a bond with MOE, and ended up doing Literature and History, with other curriculum subjects, where there is lots of reading and writing.

I used to write diaries, before I started going online. Through the years, due to time constraints and commitments, I read and wrote lesser and lesser. But I still do write quite regularly. Some people who have read some of my more pertinent works, ask where I get my inspiration. Honestly, I have no idea. I just write whatever that comes into my mind, however I feel at that point in time.

But there have been some people who have inspired me. Dr Catherine Lim, my favourite local author of all times. I just love her books! Adrian Tan, the author of the Teenage Textbook and Workbook, and whom I had the priviledge of meeting some time back when I attended a course. Colin Goh, Singaporean in New York, I love reading his columns. Andrew Koh, the author of "Glass Cathedral". There are many others of course, like my favourite writers William Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, Charles Dickens, Bronte sisters, Jane Austen, Katherine Mansfield, J.K. Rowling, John Grisham, even Enid Blyton! There are many more who have inspired me, some established writers, some who have never published a book but love writing all the same.

So why do I write? Initially it was to just pen down my observations, and some ravings and rantings of the hiffs and jiffs of life. But later I write simply because I love to. Part of me dream of being an established writer with some published works, but I wonder if that will ever come true? Meanwhile I write because I enjoy it, and will continue writing as long as I still enjoy it.

1.         Improving my spiritual life

(a)        Pray every night
(b)        Attend Novena on a weekly basis
(c)        Attend mass every week without fail
(d)        Go for bible studies (ad hoc), bi-weekly Prayer Meets and volunteer work at mission organizations

2.         Professional life

(a)        Massive mergers and acquisitions as requested by CFO
(b)        On the ball with lots of resolutions, board meetings and corporate finance
(c)        Corporate restructuring and integration
(d)        Shifting of office premises

Deadline : End of this year!!

3.         Personal life

(a)        Dedicate more time to family, especially elders
(b)        Get a manual license once and for all!
(c)        Find a life partner (hopefully, as yet again….)

I met someone last Saturday whom I know owns a yacht before I even know his name! To tell the truth, I am not impressed. Rarely am I ever impressed by material wealth or movable assets. I go for intellect, character and personality more than anything else.

But this incident made me wonder - has society become such that men assume women are all materialistic, and they must show they have lots of assets before they deem themselves worthy of going after a woman? To be honest, with the society being more equal nowadays, women can stand on their own and have just as many (or more) assets than men. So they do not need to depend on men solely.

Gone are the days where women are subjugated to their husband's treatment. If one was lucky, they got to marry a wealthy man from a good background. If one was unlucky, they married a bum and then had to endure the rest of their lives. Nowadays, women are almost equal with men. They do not need men to buy them expensive gifts or for men to show how materially wealthy they are.

Which is why more women are getting pickier. They do not marry for the sake of marrying or for financial dependency anymore. It has to be a very good reason for them to be married. Which makes me wonder, I do not need someone materially wealthy, neither do I need someone high-flying. I just like someone nice, intellectual and committed. So am I really that picky? Or is it really something about me that turn men off?

Being single has its advantages, like doing anything and going anywhere anytime I like without needing to cater to someone else's schedule or revolving my life around someone else. But then being with someone is good too. At least it beats the loneliness I feel at times. It helps when I am feeling down and there is someone to comfort me, to tell me everything is alright, to let me cry and rant. It's still better and more fun to do things with someone you know who's committed to you and vice versa, someone you can carve a lovely future with.

Looks like I need to go "husband shopping" soon before my mum's incessant nagging and endless tirade starts again, on women my age who are still single and soon going downhill if we still do not find a man! Hmmmm.... meanwhile, I am still living my life as per normal, doing the things I am always doing, trusting that God will bring someone into my life soon. No big deal being single, but if I get attached, it will be one that leads to marriage, so I am not settling for just anyone!

A lesson learnt - not to eat too much during lunch, otherwise the office will be too comfortable a place and the desk will be a bed! Arrrrgh! I can hardly keep my eyes open now ....

For as long as I can remember ever since I got a mobile phone, I have been under M1. My parents and Michael have been under SingTel all along, and Jake was under Starhub for a long time ever since he came back for good. Recently, Singtel has a promotion, and Jake switched over to Singtel and got a new LG phone after retiring his old Sony Ericsson. Mum got a new Nokia slider, which she has been complaining she has no idea how to use it, after using Samsung and Motorola.

Recently, I retired my old Samsung and am now using a new Nokia 6600 fold. Personally, I do not like Nokia phones. I do not find them particularly outstanding. They are too bulky and the battery lasts for just a day or two the most! My Samsung's battery can last me three days even after more than two years! But I need a phone so got that one as it is the smallest one I can find that suits my budget and lifestyle. And I am a heavy phone user.

Which is why I can never fathom why 80% of the population are using Nokia phones. In terms of design, it is not that good looking. In terms of functionality like cameras or MP3s, the Sony Ericsson is better. In terms of user-friendliness, Samsung is just as user-friendly. And it is not as if it is any less expensive than the other brands. Furthermore, the phone tends to give problems after a year or so. So what exactly is the appeal of a Nokia?

In any case, after all the badgering from my mum on my expensive mobile bills despite downgrading the plan twice, I am finally defecting to SingTel. At long last I have come to realise that M1 is overcharging me! I can get a Singtel 3G plan at a cheaper rate, with standard things like auto-roaming, voicemail, IDD, SMS and MMS, Caller ID, thrown in free! What is best is I get to retain my nice number at no extra charge, and I got the new Sony Ericsson T707 (in pink!) for free! Maria Sharapova's phone! What can be a better deal than that?

So anyone wants a black Nokia 6600 fold? I have only used it for a week, so it is still in pretty good condition! Otherwise I will have to keep it as an extra spare phone for whoever in my family that needs it!

For someone who was not brought up in a Christian family, I think God has paved the way for me very well. If it was not because of certain people in my life, I would not have found God, would not have converted, and would not be having so much fun doing God's work. Besides CHOICE which I recently joined, I am finally singing again in a church choir.

Everything is to do with choices, isn't it? If I had not attended the CHOICE weekend, I would not have suddenly found my direction and realise what I need to do to improve my faith. It is also because I feel grateful and inspired by some people who came into my life at that point in time - good Christians who serve and inspire others because they want to.

Hence I shall be doing more God's work from now on. This is not a feel-good thing, it is something I do because I want to, not because I have to. Hopefully I too can be somewhat of an inspiration to some others! :-)

For the past two and half years or thereabouts, I have been using a Samsung SGH-E500 clamshell. I love that phone! It was a limited edition golden brown colour flip, with a LCD display in the front to tell the time, battery indicator, missed call and messages, that also doubles up as a makeup mirror. Due to this, I no longer have to bring a handheld mirror anywhere, just take out my phone and check myself on the front cover!

The phone comes with a sophisticated brown leather case. It is small, chic, user-friendly and a relatively long battery life. It is a quadband phone with a pretty good camera. I use it to call, message, take and send pictures, bluetooth songs and pictures, check my Singnet emails (before I switched over to gmail), alarm clock, note down appointments on the calendar.

I was lucky to be able to get this phone as there were only a few in the market. Since then it has been out of stock. I have not come across anyone else who has this phone. It is exclusively a ladies phone! People who have seen my phone remark that it is a pretty phone! I am really proud of it!

Unfortunately, the shelf life of a mobile phone is just about two years on the average. Recently, my phone has been showing signs of old age, of wear and tear. It is getting "deaf". People who called me have complained they can hardly hear me. The keys are no longer as soft as before, now I need to press even harder before the functions work. It is as if it is down with arthritis and rheumatism all at once.

Thus, it is due to retire. I am sad to let it go, but it has to be done. The phone will be kept in a box in my room as its final resting place. In the event I, or any of my family members, require a spare phone, then perhaps it will be resurrected, but meanwhile, it will be laid to rest, and I have to contend with its successor - a black Nokia 6600 fold 3G mobile. Hope it works as well as its predecessor!

To my golden flap : May you have a peaceful retirement! Thank you for all these years which you have served me well. Till we meet again ....

Lately a lot of people are falling ill. I was down with flu a couple of weeks back, and now I am down with sniffles and a sore throat again. I hate this feeling of vulnerability, where I am not too sick, yet not too well, so it is a very uncomfortable feeling, because I am physically fit to go about my routine functions, yet at the same time feeling groggy and not up to par.

People at my workplace are falling sick one after another. My friends are also falling sick one after another. This period of flu has been dragging on for a long time now, I wonder when it will end? Hopefully there will not be another epidemic striking!

Another half the year has swept by just like that. What have I achieved, as usual? Nothing much. This year has been better than last year though, with new friends, more fun and new-found confidence in things. I managed to achieve things which I would otherwise never have imagined.

Somehow I get reminded of my childhood favourite program "Sesame Street". Who can forget those cute puppets.... muppets? Bert's obsessive-compulsive personality with the easy-going nature of Ernie. Big Bird's endearing traits. Snuffle's (I can never remember his full name!) never wavering friendship to Big Bird. And the oh-so-cute Elmo! Oscar the Grouch. Cookie Monster with his never-ending supply of cookies! And the cutest frog in the world - Kermit. Not to mention Grover and the Count too!

Sesame Street is a classic. I grow up on the show, I learnt my alphabets, I learnt to count, I learnt to read, I learnt to sing, I learnt about being nice and good. I learnt about getting along with neighbours. I learnt about friendship.

Sesame Street to me is more than just a show. It is a big part of my childhood, of my growing up years. For someone who was totally sheltered and not allowed to go out in my younger years, who hated school and homework, Sesame Street is one thing I look forward to everyday and which made my strict upbringing more bearable.

I love you, muppets!